GUEST BLOGGER - BOYD HOWELL CHADWICK

Friends:

It is my pleasure to introduce to you my friend and occasional guest blogger, Boyd Howell Chadwick. Of the Newport Chadwicks. From prep school, to the Ivy League, to the squash court, Boyd’s insights and wisdom run deep. He’s here today with an important set of life lessons from which we all could benefit. Be sure to look for more posts by Boyd, as more lessons get learned. And unlearned.

Life Lessons

By Boyd Howell Chadwick – Capitalist, sailor, experiencer.

This is America. We’re Americans. We love a good list. When the whole of our existence can be broken down into easy to digest nuggets, it tastes better. Especially a list of important life lessons we may have been ignoring because bad things only ever happen to other people. But then the day comes when something bad happens to us and everything changes. When such a thing happened to me, I began to realize how important it is for you to know that now that I have learned things and you should learn them too. From me.

1. It’s good to be healthy:

I never get sick. I never broke a bone. I don’t have any cavities. I am a superior specimen, who has never missed a day of work due to illness. Then one day someone close to me got sick. Really sick. So sick they died sick. I realized in that moment that I had taken my good health for granted all my life. I felt like a jerk because I had such disdain for sick people. Now I know that people get sick and understand that I must quietly pity them.

2. Grief has no timeline:

How many times did I roll my eyes and say, “Get over it, Grandma. Pop Pop’s been dead for years.”? A lot. Then Grandma died. But before she did, she pulled me close and whispered to me that she hopes that one day soon, I lose somebody close to me and nobody will care. Now that I’ve lost a dear one, I regret my callousness. Mostly because the miserable old crone cut me out of her estate. Obviously my loss is more profound than hers, because I learned that I'm still sad years after somebody died.

3. You don’t know everything about other people:

Life is simpler when you can make assumptions about people by the way they appear. I know when people look at me they think “entitled douchebag,” and they may have a point. But now I’ve suffered loss, and so it offends me when people call me that. I used to not have time to consider the inner lives of the UPS guy or bank teller. Watching my friend suffer often made me sad, and strangers would encourage me with helpful platitudes like, “Why so frowny?” or “Cheer up, it’s not so bad,” or “What’s an entitled douchebag like you got to be upset about? Did your stocks take a tumble?” In those moments I could either have empathy for their intentions – maybe they were sad and seeing me sad made them sad and they didn’t want to be sad – or I could respond without compassion. I chose to respond sympathetically. “I’ve lost more money in the last 24 hours than you will make in your entire lifetime.”

4. Learn from the wisdom of others:

It turns out that other people have done, seen and experienced things that have changed them in some way. They have gained some sort of insight that is worthy of sharing. I never knew this until my friend got sick. Then I started telling people everything I’ve learned. They really seemed to care. Some people actually wanted share their stories with me, but I was wise and gentle enough to remind them that what I went through was different and more valuable.

5. Money doesn’t buy happiness:

Honestly, this one eludes me.

I hope you can appreciate what I’ve done here. I’m heading out to do stuff. If I learn anything, I’ll be sure and let you know. ~BHC